She says, “Chris, I think you are an amazing guy and I love so many things about you. I think you are absolutely gorgeous but our lifestyles are so different, you know?”
I say, “No. I don’t know. Explain.”
She says, “You party and stuff and I’m against it pretty much and I’m devoting my life to God and I just don’t see the same desire from you.”
I say, “I share the same desire but I go about achieving it a different way. I try to live my life to my best to make the world a better place you live you life to your best to serve God better.”
She says, “Those are completely different.”
I say, “Only the intention. My intention is to better the world because it needs bettering, your intention is to serve God and get into heaven. In fact my intentions seem slightly less selfish in fact.”
She says, “You are being ridiculous.”
I say, “The difference between you and I on a religious stand point is that I refuse to follow something so important blindly. I see too many ‘Christians’ follow God and Jesus because they only look at the part of the bible that says follow Jesus with all your heart and serve him. They miss the whole point. It’s what’s in your heart. Dedicating your life to a God you don’t understand is pointless and easy. You say I’m not good for you because I told you I wasn’t a Christian a while ago. But didn’t you listen when I explained why? I told you that I think religion is an all or nothing deal. I hate people that pick and choose from different religions to make their own little religion where everything is just the way they want it to be. That makes religion easy. For instance, take the Christian bible. Let’s say a person decides they don’t agree with ONE SINGLE PART of the bible, like they don’t think Jonah got swallowed by a whale, but believes everything else. Well the fact that they shot down the Jonah story, means that EVERY part of the bible could be false. If Adam and Eve didn’t exist, then what’s to say Jesus didn’t rise from the dead? You see my point? If one part is false, all of it could be false, so it needs to be an all or nothing. I don’t know everything I know about Christianity for me to be worthy of spreading the word of God to others. If I call myself a Christian, I WANT TO KNOW WHAT I AM TALKING ABOUT, otherwise I make Christians look bad. Too many Christians turn people AWAY from God because they call themselves Christians when they have absolutely no idea of what they are talking about besides the fact that they know that they need to believe in God or else they are damned. I’m just trying to not make that mistake so I am questioning it and learning and taking it slowly to be sure not to miss anything before I decide to devote my life to something that can’t be proven.”
She says, “For me it’s a relationship, not a religion.”
I say, “But do you marry someone you don’t know? No, you hang out with them. Test them. Question them. Then when you feel ready you take it to the next level.”
She says, “I want to be with someone who is working towards the same goal.”
I say, “I AM WORKING TOWARD THE SAME GOAL! I just refuse to label myself a worthy servant of God prematurely. You call yourself a Christian and you are already judging me and telling me I’m a worse Christian than you are.”
She says, “I never said that!”
I say, “Basically you did by saying that you lived for God and that I just party. You sin too but I don’t point it out because it has nothing to do with whether or not you believe in God or not. Everybody sins.”
She says, “I don’t follow God blindly, I follow with faith.”
I say, “How can you have faith in something surreal, meaning improvable and out of our world, without first understanding the world you live in? I choose to know my surroundings before I try to conquer something outside of them. You can’t be a good server of the Lord if you don’t know how to act virtuous in your own life? When I have children, I want them to be raised knowing God, but I can only tell them who he is. Ultimately they have to believe in Him for themselves, otherwise they don’t truly believe and rather are just doing as I say. However, that faith in God MUST go hand in hand with REASON and RATIONAL. If you have a knowledge of how the world really works, and still believe in God, then THAT is faith. It is easy to look at the sun with ignorance and think that God must have burned it in the sky, but when you realize how it really got there, God seems less real. But choosing to have faith that he still exists even after knowing your world is built from reason and rational and from searching extra hard for places where his work can be found, you have real faith, not blind faith.”
She says, “Well it doesn’t seem like you give it your all.”
I say, “I DO give it my all, but right now I don’t give my all to SERVE God, I give it my all to KNOW God first.”
She says, “Well you believe in God, I live for God. Huge difference.”
I say, “How can you think like that? How can you be so judgmental of someone trying to find your God? I am saying that I want to be sure in what I live for and you condemn me for it? How dare you! At least I am pointed in the same direction and believe in YOUR GOD and not Allah or worse yet nothing! It says in the bible that God will spew a luke warm Christian from his mouth. I just don’t want to be that Christian. First comes knowing, then comes serving, and don’t try to say that you skipped the knowing stage because that’s impossible.”
She says, “We are not on the same page.”
I say, “But we ARE. I don’t see why you think I’m so bad! I GO to church! I was a leader in the Mill! I helped with a bible study! I was in two worship bands at two churches! I go to youth group! I even defend God in a religious debate! Every song I wrote about you had God in it! And then you tell me I’m not a Christian!? What are YOU doing for your God!?”
She says, “I need someone to grow with me, not be in that questioning stage. I need a man of God. I’m not saying you can’t be but right now you are not.”
I say, “Fine, you go find your “man of God,” but I think you will find that I am closer to that definition than most you will meet. The only difference being I refuse to bullshit myself into saying I know more about God than I really do. I want a family, I want love. I help people less fortunate than I, and seek out people to learn from.”
She says, “Chris I know you are a good guy, and I think you have a great heart. I really like you but I just don’t think it will work.”
I say, “Whatever you won’t even try. And even if you did try, I don’t think you would let it work because you would want the ‘I told you so.’ Why did you think it would work out with your last boyfriend?”
She says, “Because he had a heart for God.”
I say, “AND IT DIDN’T WORK OUT! My point exactly. You need more then just a man of God, you need a man that loves you! And I could be that man!”
She says, “See we don’t agree on this.”
I say, “And the CRAZIEST part of all this is WHY you had problems with your last boyfriend! He was being a GOOD CHRISTIAN and didn’t have sex with you! And you condemned him for it! And now you condemn me for NOT being enough like HIM?!”
She says, “How dare you tell me my sins. I know my sins. We all have them. Seriously stop telling me how I feel and what I do. You have no idea why he and I broke up! Don’t speak on things you don’t know!”
I say, “I only know what YOU told me and what YOU complained about! You even said to me ‘If he doesn’t get more intimate, I will leave him.”
She says, “I never claimed to be perfect. The second I tell anyone I’m a Christian I am immediately labeled a hypocrite. Just because I’m Christian doesn’t make me perfect.”
I say, “I didn’t think you were a hypocrite when you said you were a Christian. I thought you were a hypocrite when you said you were a better one than I was!”
She says, “I didn’t say that!”
I say, “You indirectly did! Example one- I’m a partier, you’re a follower of God. Example two – I believe in God, you live for him. Huge difference. Example three – Your ex had a heart for God and you gave him a chance. You won’t give me a chance so I don’t have a heart for God.”
She says, “Hahahaha! Stop, Chris. I have high standards, okay? Sorry! I know what kind of man God has for me. My Dad and Grandpa are not perfect or even close, but I know I will marry a man like them.”
I say, “First of all, there is ANOTHER insult – I don’t meet your high Christian standards! Secondly, you are right. There is a HUGE difference between you and I. You think God is just going to hand you everything you want and need simply by praying hard enough and believing strongly enough. You can’t pray for a job and expect to get it the next day with no effort from you! The OPPORTUNITY for that job MAY come in a series of circumstances God presents you with in which YOU have to ACT upon which MAY result in the job you prayed for. You aren’t going to wake up suddenly next to the perfect ‘man of God’ you so desperately desire! How do you know God didn’t put ME in your life!? A man already on the right road, given that we are both right in our faith, ready to love you! And you refuse him because he isn’t that perfect man of God you think is going to appear? How do you know I couldn’t become that man and screw it up because you refuse to act!”
She says, “The most attractive thing in a man is his walk with the Lord. I want to be led, not leading.”
I say, “THEN YOU ARE AN IGNORANT CHRISTIAN!! AND THE EXACT KIND I DON’T WANT TO BECOME! Being a Christian or any religious follower for that matter IS LEADING!!!! That is the number ONE duty of a server of CHRIST! TO LEAD PEOPLE TO CHRIST!!! There is yet another example of you wanting someone to do something for you! Someone else can’t lead you to make the right decisions in your life, you have to make them yourself. THE WHOLE POINT that God is trying to convey in His word is that he wants a ONE on ONE relationship with you, that will be built on you personal experiences and on the ways in which you found God in those given experiences! Because of that, it will be UNLIKE ANY OTHER person’s relationship with God! Your relationship with God is your own. It will be different than anyone else’s as will my own. The importance does not lay in that we walk at different paces but rather that we both walk in the same direction together. After being shown the road it is in YOUR hands and after showing someone the road it is no longer in your hands. You don’t need to be led. You need to lead others who do not even know where the road is or who are going the wrong way. God loves us all but he created men and women because we need love from another here in life too. And I could be that person. God created me to love you and you to love me. Don’t worry about my relationship with God and I won’t worry about yours and instead let’s worry about sharing our faith with someone who is lost. If you call yourself a Christian, your job is to lead AND be led. If you call yourself a wife your job is to lead and be led. To love is to lead and be led mutually. THAT is a relationship. To teach and be taught. Being a responsible Christian is LEADING, but nobody is perfect and so we each need to be LED as well. You would teach me and I would teach you.”
She says, “You are done.”
I say, “Why are you ignoring what I have to say? I am only trying to help. You obviously aren’t ready to lead OR be led. Goodnight.”
